The moment the absence of an inherent sense of self is understood, one exits the wheel of samsara.

I took a walk outside today, sat down for a cup of coffee and thought I should share some meditative reflections with everyone.

During the last few months, I have been listening to the world news daily and observing the ongoings in the lives of those around us. It dawned on me that there is so much truth to our Lord Buddha’s teaching to the effect that the greater one has of a sense of “self”, the more difficult it is cultivate compassion for others, and that is often the source of suffering in our world today.

Whether it is between partners in a business, husband and wife, teacher and student, parents and child(ren), the people of country A and country B etc, and the list goes on, the cause of all conflict is invariably one party’s reluctance to let go of one’s sense of self. Conversely, the prospect of resolving such conflict is proportional to the extent to which one (or more) of the parties involved are prepared to take a step back and allow their egos/ senses of self (or parts thereof) take a backseat.

Is it not true that in all of the above examples, the one who is happier (or more contented) in the relationship is invariably the one who regards the priorities of the other(s) as more important. Is it also not true that the one who maintains that larger sense of self, whilst outwardly dominant over others, is not necessarily the happier of the lot? Have we not also witnessed that those who are more willing place others first, and have shown acts of compassion regardless of their place in society, always receive the respect of everyone around them?

The sense of an inherently existing “self” is, conversely, the cause of problems and suffering. Those driven to suicide are overwhelmed by the concept of the “I” which has failed – it is the “I” that eclipses the supposed “failure”. Those who immerse themselves in other undesirable habits such as gambling, are again under the control of the need for their sense that “I” have lost, and wish for the “I” to challenge and beat his or her fate. What distinguishes us from animals that will feed on others who are weaker, is that we are able to focus not just the importance of ourselves, but also acknowledge the importance of others, and not oppress others when they are down or weak.

In these times, I pray for the world to be able to appreciate the futility of the dualistic mind to separate what is “mine”, whether it be conceptions of “my religion”, “my country”, “my family” etc. To have peace of mind in our lives, it is my humble advice for us to cultivate some altruism to regard others (or what is not ours) as equally important, even if one cannot achieve the state of regarding others as more important than self. May we cultivate the wisdom that transcends all understanding, and remember that as part of humanity, we should be measured by the extent to which we can lend a helping hand to another in their times of need, regardless of their race, nationality, language or religion.

🙏 Geshe Lama Konchok